Friday, September 5, 2008

How I ruined my day reading my google reader ....

Edit: sorry for the first message that has gotten out of my control ...

I know it sounds weird such a thing could happen but that's what happened to me. I was reading the blogs when I checked Windy's blog which is a blog I really like. She was talking about a little boy who just died of neuroblastoma (cancer). She gave a link to
his blog.
I knew it was NOT a good idea to click on the link, that I should know better, that I am not strong enough to yet ... but I clicked and what I saw made me very sad, brought a lot of painful memories back, made me cry and depressed for the day ... I think the most painful part is to see this child's pain when they have to access to his portacath (in his chest). Pierre was the same: in spite of all the special cream he has on it, he was so scared by the whole procedure. It's not easy having a kid in remission because remission doesn't mean the kid is heal; it just means, there is no sign of cancer cells in the analysis. PIerre doesn't have any blood tests anymore and we just go to the doctor every 6 months so we don't know how he's really doing. We just assume if he looks fine that means he is fine ... What is hard is that daily life keeps us from focussing on what is important and Pierre is often hard to deal with so it's easy to be sidetracked by non important little things ....


Sorry for writting such a depressing post but it is also the reality I'm dealing with (even though sometimes I'd like to forget it ... )


You wanted a little progress picture? Here it is:

Will you believe that I'm not too bothered by the green? Maybe it's because there is not a lot of greens in this design !!! I'm still working on the right part of the flowers. I know it looks weird but I'm sure it will look like something nice when I'm done !!!

So tomorrow is saturday which means getting up early as Pierre has to be at school at 8.45 Can I send it back to his old school? It's going to take me some time to get used to this new routine ...

15 comments:

~Tammy said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been clicking on blogs and by doing so have upset yourself.

It is understandable that you'd be upset by what you've read. You deal with your fears well, or so it seems. You never have to apologize to us for what you blog about or the tone of it. This is YOUR blog and we are honoured that you share with us, your day to day life. If that day to day includes some of your heartbreak, fears and concerns, so be it. Another note, we are your friends and we care!

Your stitching is lovely!

Sending you even bigger hugs than previous ones.

Kendra said...

I'm sorry you got upset...I think anyone would have reacted the same way, especially reading it with such a personal connection to the situation.

I often don't click on those kind of links because I know it will bring me to tears. I have a hard time reading things like that (I've got a lump in my throat and I'm tearing up a bit right now just thinking about that family losing their son...and I only read your description of it). I tend to be an emotional wreck regarding sad situations like that.

School on a Saturday...that's just wrong! ;-)

stitchinaddiction said...

God bless you and Pierre, Chiloe, that your burden may be easier. I hope P stays in remission.

Daffycat said...

***hugs***


***more hugs***

Windy said...

Chiloe,
I am so glad to hear your Pierre is in remission. He will always be in my prayers. Now I guess all that green doesn't look so bad after all.....You are right in that we get caught up in the day to day and forget how lucky we all truly are. I appreciate your warm comments on my blog. My thoughts will be with you.
Windy

tkdchick said...

What beautiful black-eyed-susans!

Ruth said...

hugs! Maybe trying staring at your floral progress and try and find some peace in its beauty.

Mel said...

(((HUGS)))
Sorry you got upset. I can understand why.
Your progress looks great. Take care

Tammy said...

Aw, I had no idea your son had dealt with something like that. I hope with every fiber of my being that he retains and enjoys his good health for many many looong years. It's hard being a mom. ((HUGS)) to you.

Paula said...

How sad you must have been to read that blog.
Hugs to you and Pierre.

Your stitching is lovely, look forward to seeing more.....

Happy stitching and hugs to you.....

Faith Ann said...

{{{hugs}}}

I am not even going to click on that link because I know I would be in tears immediately. I've made that mistake before.

It has to be heartbreaking to see your child in pain, suffering and scared and to have that worry that it might happen again. {{{more hugs}}}

Oh goodness, school on a Saturday?

Lori-Ann said...

Me too... too weak to click on his blog.

Sorry I missed a couple posts.
Sorry about Pierre's ordeal with cancer. {{{hugs}}}

Pumpkin said...

((((HUGS)))) Chiloe, you are such a strong woman. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a child with leukemia. It's bad enough when we have to deal with it ourselves. Children do not deserve to go through such things :o( I'm SO happy to hear that he IS in remission though :o)

leechbabe said...

:: sad ::

You are a very strong lady living with the worry about Pierre.

sugardoll said...

*hugs*

i went over the site and checked it out, it made me cry and i can't stop. I am sure he will be missed.

I am also glad to know that Pierre is doing really really well. Children don't have the right to get sick. They are too precious and fragile.